i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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