Having a random hookup so left but love u
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize