it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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