All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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