Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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