do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
