careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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