So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Randomize
