Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
