Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I need a burrito and a hug.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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