I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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