one might say we're banned from that church
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
