All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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