a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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