just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Randomize
