I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize