I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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