I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
