Dual....:-)
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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