Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Randomize
