my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
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