i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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