would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
can u get pink eye on your cock?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
