just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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