garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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