Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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