Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Randomize
