If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize