Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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