Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
