Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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