Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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