dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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