okay pat passed out under dana's car
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Randomize
