Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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