I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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