I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
When are your genitals available?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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