if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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