I wannas sexs uuuuu
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I think my moral compass just broke
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
