Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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