just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
