We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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