It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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