i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
