Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
