weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
