problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
