It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize