Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
He better not be in your backpack
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
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