living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Randomize
