My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
