so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
