Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
