If that was your dad, he is hot
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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