I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
