You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
