I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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