Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
