He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
You had me at "let me see your balls"
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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