So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
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keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
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If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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