You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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