My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm getting married
To pizza
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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