You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
