I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
