STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
