where am i from again
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
