I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
