I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
