I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
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