Texts From Last Night

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  (323): View more from California

  Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak

  (1-323): View more from California

  I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole

  (1-323): View more from California

  She's blonde

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  (323): Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak (1-323): I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole (1-323): She's blonde http://tfl.nu/vvom
  Replies (6) Good night (1981) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.

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  (570): remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident. http://tfl.nu/c1ns
  Replies (4) Good night (931) Bad night (1490)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.

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  (908): You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid. http://tfl.nu/9kqb
  Replies (5) Good night (652) Bad night (2871)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem

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  (407): i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem http://tfl.nu/l5fk
  Replies (50) Good night (8916) Bad night (1144)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Jealous.

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  (417): Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls. (573): Jealous. http://tfl.nu/6b8u
  Replies (9) Good night (3874) Bad night (1820)
• Favorite

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3586) Bad night (1010)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"

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  (480): You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant" http://tfl.nu/tydk
  Replies (3) Good night (2088) Bad night (952)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try

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  (845): I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try http://tfl.nu/7nb7
  Replies (1) Good night (1696) Bad night (700)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?

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  (615): Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ? http://tfl.nu/0u6g
  Replies (5) Good night (2333) Bad night (1035)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence

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  (802): Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence http://tfl.nu/e5a5
  Replies (6) Good night (1080) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now

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  (262): Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now http://tfl.nu/dwxe
  Replies (2) Good night (873) Bad night (565)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw

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  (334): I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw http://tfl.nu/eazo
  Replies (7) Good night (1410) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.

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  (832): Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only. http://tfl.nu/5mf4
  Replies (4) Good night (780) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.

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  (419): Oh and yeah that does count as public urination. http://tfl.nu/7asx
  Replies (0) Good night (406) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Umm

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Exactly.

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  (240): Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor... (301): Umm (240): Exactly. http://tfl.nu/dkql
  Replies (1) Good night (380) Bad night (572)

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