Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia