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Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
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