Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
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