Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...

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  (248): I fell asleep on the toilet again last night... http://tfl.nu/rzc7
  Replies (3) Good night (655) Bad night (839)
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  (475): View more from Connecticut

  just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles

  (1-475): View more from Connecticut

  exact location. now.

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  (475): just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles (1-475): exact location. now. http://tfl.nu/2i9v
  Replies (26) Good night (1543) Bad night (3500)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  tequila makes her clothes fall off

  (512): View more from Texas

  wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time

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  (636): tequila makes her clothes fall off (512): wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time http://tfl.nu/mbhl
  Replies (28) Good night (1866) Bad night (8025)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.

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  (832): We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page. http://tfl.nu/lhck
  Replies (12) Good night (4346) Bad night (864)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together

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  (713): Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together http://tfl.nu/dsi2
  Replies (6) Good night (3338) Bad night (628)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.

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  (512): I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings. http://tfl.nu/0ge6
  Replies (10) Good night (2363) Bad night (1602)
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?

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  (313): Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today? http://tfl.nu/iyco
  Replies (3) Good night (1770) Bad night (793)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  Oh God.

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  (919): DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT??? (1-919): Oh God. http://tfl.nu/z02g
  Replies (20) Good night (4587) Bad night (618)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.

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  (210): you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug. http://tfl.nu/nztu
  Replies (8) Good night (2534) Bad night (525)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".

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  (920): watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro". http://tfl.nu/wzks
  Replies (9) Good night (829) Bad night (992)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you

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  (484): Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you http://tfl.nu/s4l7
  Replies (4) Good night (715) Bad night (317)
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  (228): View more from Mississippi

  Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Circle of life?

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  (228): Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life. (601): Circle of life? http://tfl.nu/blw3
  Replies (1) Good night (359) Bad night (901)
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  (909): View more from California

  Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"

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  (909): Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead" http://tfl.nu/uxql
  Replies (4) Good night (838) Bad night (386)
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  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status

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  (308): Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status http://tfl.nu/i9jh
  Replies (0) Good night (453) Bad night (202)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.

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  (703): I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me. http://tfl.nu/1fay
  Replies (2) Good night (584) Bad night (253)

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