i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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