sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
we should paint friendship bongs
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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