party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?