Texts From Last Night

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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak

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  (952): I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak http://tfl.nu/wxhv
  Replies (29) Good night (969) Bad night (1071)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.

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  (573): Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving. http://tfl.nu/96e5
  Replies (33) Good night (878) Bad night (3245)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.

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  (614): just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society. http://tfl.nu/uah3
  Replies (31) Good night (1562) Bad night (4103)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.

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  (843): He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name. http://tfl.nu/s3qy
  Replies (52) Good night (17608) Bad night (1468)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.

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  (832): I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW. http://tfl.nu/ohwe
  Replies (25) Good night (6764) Bad night (1224)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.

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  (859): When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection. http://tfl.nu/xa7u
  Replies (31) Good night (890) Bad night (7413)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

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  (708): this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick http://tfl.nu/q9ek
  Replies (10) Good night (4602) Bad night (986)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.

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  (801): Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away. http://tfl.nu/018f
  Replies (8) Good night (1690) Bad night (840)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.

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  (919): I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping. http://tfl.nu/iyfp
  Replies (10) Good night (2149) Bad night (1233)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us

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  (702): She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us http://tfl.nu/hsu0
  Replies (6) Good night (1472) Bad night (565)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go

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  (902): Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go http://tfl.nu/ajer
  Replies (7) Good night (1155) Bad night (465)
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  (951): View more from California

  We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.

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  (951): We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here. http://tfl.nu/55bx
  Replies (4) Good night (509) Bad night (638)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??

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  (304): Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun?? http://tfl.nu/lwzi
  Replies (3) Good night (957) Bad night (558)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.

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  (314): I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done. http://tfl.nu/w2o8
  Replies (0) Good night (982) Bad night (355)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.

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  (708): This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol. http://tfl.nu/mhc1
  Replies (0) Good night (258) Bad night (111)

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