I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I think people are normalizing furries
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
