She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
